Wisdom in the Madness of Your Vomit

i was writing a poem
when coyote came
and threw up on my page
i used his vomit for ink

i found a stone in coyote’s vomit
Stone cleansed my page and wrote,
Us Stones are thousands of years old 
Some of us sing, some of us write,
some of us teach, some of us paint
We’re always learning
We always have to work around
tricksters throwing up on our pages

We live thousands of years
You humans live a century, maybe
But if you really thought life is short
you would use time to see
how much you can give, not take

It’s your choice, it always has been
So when trickster appears
throwing up on your pages
look for the gift
cultivate it – blend it – mend it
Howl at the moon with the mad ones
but never
throw up on your own pages
unless you’re a trickster, too
and if you are
you already know what to do

Vomit
then let it become art
Understand it
then find a word for it later
Live it
then dye it with purple
Mistake it when you know it
Know it when you mistake it
And find the wisdom of us Stones
in the madness of your vomit

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Love is the Antivirus

Every day we’re bombarded
with offers we can have
if we complete the applications
Pop up ads of shame
Apps of blame
Free trials of doubt
Turning into expensive lifetime memberships

Being weighed down with downloads
Fear separating us from life
Using us like Trojan horses
To carry on a virus of lies
Until we crash

There is truth –
An antivirus of light
That exists in our original operating system
Reboot and remember
Our original operating system of Love
Reboot
&
Remember

Allow not one more day to slip through your hands forgetting your value because of the virus of fear. Instead of searching for your worth in work, opinions, money and situations, allow love to operate through you by operating in love’s system. Remember and remind everyone that we are all sacred miracles, blessings and gifts. You are so much more than the more you’ve been searching for. Look within. Remember and reboot within your true operating system of love. Love is the antivirus. 

~ Walk In Beauty

I Would Rather

I would rather feel the weight of the world

I would rather feel the sting of betrayal

I would rather feel the pain of hurtful venom spewed 

I would rather feel the doubts of others

I would rather feel the dispensation of mockery

I would rather feel the ridicule of lies

I would rather feel the attempts of assassination
of my character

I would rather walk through
the vehement questioning of,
“Who do you think are you?!”

 

I would rather
sing alone with no support

I would rather sit alone
with no encouragement

I would rather go through all this
than live one moment
separated from my dreams

 

It is I
in the moments of truth
that walk through the critics

It is I
in moments of truth
that walks through crowd of attacks

I will walk through all of this
and so much more to get to my well –

the well of dreams

 

In the dry desert of loneliness and discouragement
the Creator placed a well
full of pure water and nourishment
within our hearts

My well contains the nourishment
the Creator gave me

My well is where
the Creator placed my dreams

I will walk through it all
and endure anything to get there

This well contains my Life-giving water
which are my dreams

 

Who can stop me?

If I don’t walk to my well of dreams
then it gives credence
to the illusions of the unwise
who spend their days
at my well attempting to divert me

They know where my well is,
they set their sights upon it 

They cannot stop me

My calling is too great

 

They have no power –
only discouragement to offer

While they guard my well
they are not attending their own

They are becoming dried out and thirsty

I even offer them drink
because they are suffering

This enrages them more

Their attacks become stronger

They refuse drink,
not because they’re not thirsty

They refuse only because it is my hand
that offers it to them

Their pride overrides their thirst

 

What they do not realize
is that I already tasted
the pure water from the well of my dreams

My children will share
the Life-giving water from this well

My wife will share
the Life-giving water from this well

I will continue to go to my well
when thirsty or to prepare

I will go there whenever I choose

I realize the continuation of this

I will not be someone
who is surrounded by water
but still thirsty

I will not be someone
who knows
where all the other people’s wells are
but discourages them

I will be grateful to those
who have chosen to deny themselves
their own well of dreams

I will be grateful to those
who have chosen to deny themselves
drink from The Creator
in exchange for an opportunity
to mock me
their mocking laughter guided me
to my well when it was dark

 

I would rather be called crazy
for drinking from the water
of my dreams
knowing the Creator
has placed it there for me

I would rather be laughed at
1,000 times
knowing I am on my path
than to receive an applause
for not living my dreams

 

Only living my dreams is living

Straying from my dreams is dying

 

I would rather live

I would rather dream

I would rather shed a tear

For every tear I’ve shed
I have laughed 1,000 times

For every attack I endured
I’ve been supported 1,000 times
and loved in 1,000 ways –
even if it was in a prayer
from someone I’ve never met

I know and we must be reminded
that the number of distractions
are limited
but the wells of our dreams
are limitless

I will continue to draw water
from the well of my dreams

I will do this not just for me

I will do this
so there are less attackers at your well
when you face the truth
and find the courage
to draw from your well –
to draw, to write, to recite
from your eternal well of dreams

I would rather know
that I am doing this
and you are doing the same

Writing for Approval is Self-Rejection

I’m grateful I began writing way before the internet existed. Before the internet and all the way until now, I write ideas, poems, observations and stories in my journal, on a napkin, or on some loose leaf paper. Some of my writings I choose to make public. Other writings may be public one day or never, that’s my choice.

Before the internet and social media existed, I didn’t take my writings around our neighborhood asking strangers or people I knew to read what I wrote and give me their approval. I surely don’t do that on the internet now. I never wrote for any other reason than I am a writer, an author and a poet, which are just some of many things the Creator created me as. I don’t worry or think about if someone else has written something similar, better, more elegantly or with keener observations. I write to honor the Creator and the gifts the Creator has given me to use, share and enjoy. I don’t write because I think I have the answers. I write because I am willing to learn.

Write because you love it. Love because you write it. More importantly than any likes or shares on social media is what you experience in those sacred moments of writing – the Creator flowing with you, within the pen and paper or keys on the keyboard, with whispers from Spirt coming from deep within your soul, blending to words as you co-create with the Creator.

Journal and Pen

Never Forget Those Who Cultivate Your Seeds of Greatness

This photo is from 1996 in Detroit, MI. Me, Mike Vazquez and Therman Bear working at the survival school.
I have many mentors in life and many mentors in youth work, but few are both. Mike and Therman are both.
 
I remember interviewing for the job at the survival school. It was the shortest interview I ever had in my career.
Mike was sitting across the table from me and Therman was sitting next to him. Mike said, “Okay, Therman wants to hire you but I will be one of your supervisors as well. You know this job entails street outreach, crisis calls, teaching in the classroom, dropping off and picking up youth and young adults, and many other things. That being said, why do you want this job?”
I answered, “Because I’m fucking crazy.”
Mike laughed, “I am, too.” He looked at Therman, “Okay, he’s hired.”
 
Those two would go anywhere, onto any battlefield, at anytime of day or night to serve others. I was blessed to be with them and learn from them. They embodied the warrior code of service and in the Lakota language, the code of Nake Nula Waun – I am always ready at all times for anything.
They were always ready to serve. We would start the day with prayer. We concluded the day or night with prayer. The entire day was a prayer of love and service.
 
Mike would always say, “This work is Spirit-led.”
Therman would always say, “There are so few of us men in this work. Please continue this work.”
 
Since that time I have served with many strong servant leaders, but these two men set the tone in both words and example.
The Creator is great. Intergenerational healing is more powerful than intergenerational trauma. Flourish. Blossom. Grow into the best you can be, but never forget those who helped cultivate the sacred seeds of greatness in you so that you can be a vessel for the Creator to cultivate the sacred seeds of greatness in others.
 
Walk in Beauty,
Anthony Goulet
 
Me Mike Thurman

One Important Question 

I spend a lot of time teaching youth peaceful ways to resolve conflicts. Violence isn’t just hitting, stabbing, or shooting someone. Peace isn’t just refraining from hitting, stabbing or shooting someone. Violence and peace are mindsets. Peace and violence are choices. In making the choice of violence, there are many ways to carry it out. In making the choice of peace, there are many ways to carry it out. Once any decision is made, the path becomes clear. Once a commitment is made, the path is walked, and becomes something you know, not just know about.

There are far too many youth who know the path of violence at an early age. And there are too few adults who teach the path of peace by example in thought, speech and action. Peace is not passive, or cowardice. Peace is active and courageous.

There is an old samurai proverb that says, “A warrior can choose to be a pacifist, everyone else is condemned to it.” After being proven in battle in the ring, dojo, and on the streets many times over, I chose peace and then committed myself to its grace. And when I made that commitment, there were few men who supported me in that. But the men who did support me in my commitment to peace were men who’ve experienced the extremes of violence and war, so they understood, better than most, the importance of peace. After enough experience you learn that all violence is senseless.

When I was struggling to commit myself to a path of peace by taking my first steps upon it, the Creator posed a question to me deep within my heart, “Do you think I created you to be a healing force or a destructive force?”

It’s easy to say something negative and mean. It’s easy to throw a punch. It’s easy to use a weapon. In a world that glorifies violence and even rewards it, it takes strength, courage, and trust in the Creator to bless those who curses you, and walk away from those who want to fight you.

My uncle taught me a long time ago that the war is always behind the other person’s eyes – the war is within them, their own mind – their own choice. And so it is with peace. Peace is always behind the other person’s eyes – the peace is within them, their own mind – their own choice. Peace can be behind our own eyes, and in our own mind at any moment we choose.

What’s the reward? Often times I’ve found the reward for choosing peace is simply peace itself. And I have found few, if any rewards greater than peace.

The question the Creator posed to me years ago is a question I’ve asked many youth over the years. Although for most people the answer is obvious, the commitment to being a healing force needs to be obvious now more than ever before. Do you think you’ve been created to be a healing force or a destructive force?

Independence is a Lie

Independence is a lie
In an ever-connected
Uni-Verse and Universes
There’s no such thing
As a self-made man 
or self-made woman
Love has no opposite
other than illusions
Just as a seed
Never stops needing
The Earth
We never stop needing
The Creator, Earth, Love,
our hearts and each other

We are completely dependent
Upon the Creator, Earth,
Love, our hearts,
and each other
Independence is a lie
Separation is a hell
Where we cast ourselves
In the illusion of division
Forgetting that
Just
As
A
Seed
Never
Stops
Needing
The
Earth
We
Never
Stop
Needing
The
Creator,
Earth,
Love,
Our
Hearts
And
Each
Other

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