Show People That You Care About Them

It happened right there on this road, on the exact spot where the bracelet is. A young person tried to throw herself into traffic. When I pushed her back on the side of the road, I fell onto the highway. I’ll never forget how close a bright blue, Dodge Ram truck came to my head before it swerved out of the way.

I kept her away from the highway until the police arrived. In the few minutes that it took for the police to arrive, she screamed at me, over and over again, “You don‘t give a fuck about me! Why didn’t you just let me die!” The police took her to the adolescent psychiatric hospital to be evaluated and treated, not punished.

A little over a week later she was discharged out of the hospital and back to our emergency shelter. When she handed me the bracelet, she said, “Mr. Tony, I made this for you in the hospital. Thank you. I love you. I don’t remember everything from that moment on the highway, but I remember what I screamed at you. What I meant to say is that I couldn’t believe someone actually gave a fuck about me.”

I wear the bracelet quite often as a reminder that there are many hurting people in the world who think no one cares about them. My life’s calling is to prove them wrong.

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One Important Question 

I spend a lot of time teaching youth peaceful ways to resolve conflicts. Violence isn’t just hitting, stabbing, or shooting someone. Peace isn’t just refraining from hitting, stabbing or shooting someone. Violence and peace are mindsets. Peace and violence are choices. In making the choice of violence, there are many ways to carry it out. In making the choice of peace, there are many ways to carry it out. Once any decision is made, the path becomes clear. Once a commitment is made, the path is walked, and becomes something you know, not just know about.

There are far too many youth who know the path of violence at an early age. And there are too few adults who teach the path of peace by example in thought, speech and action. Peace is not passive, or cowardice. Peace is active and courageous.

There is an old samurai proverb that says, “A warrior can choose to be a pacifist, everyone else is condemned to it.” After being proven in battle in the ring, dojo, and on the streets many times over, I chose peace and then committed myself to its grace. And when I made that commitment, there were few men who supported me in that. But the men who did support me in my commitment to peace were men who’ve experienced the extremes of violence and war, so they understood, better than most, the importance of peace. After enough experience you learn that all violence is senseless.

When I was struggling to commit myself to a path of peace by taking my first steps upon it, the Creator posed a question to me deep within my heart, “Do you think I created you to be a healing force or a destructive force?”

It’s easy to say something negative and mean. It’s easy to throw a punch. It’s easy to use a weapon. In a world that glorifies violence and even rewards it, it takes strength, courage, and trust in the Creator to bless those who curses you, and walk away from those who want to fight you.

My uncle taught me a long time ago that the war is always behind the other person’s eyes – the war is within them, their own mind – their own choice. And so it is with peace. Peace is always behind the other person’s eyes – the peace is within them, their own mind – their own choice. Peace can be behind our own eyes, and in our own mind at any moment we choose.

What’s the reward? Often times I’ve found the reward for choosing peace is simply peace itself. And I have found few, if any rewards greater than peace.

The question the Creator posed to me years ago is a question I’ve asked many youth over the years. Although for most people the answer is obvious, the commitment to being a healing force needs to be obvious now more than ever before. Do you think you’ve been created to be a healing force or a destructive force?

The Voice of What You Are

The ego only knows how to attack or defend. It wants allies to join in attacks and defense, but it doesn’t want brothers and sisters. It doesnt want brothers and sisters to unite in Truth – in Love.

There’s another Voice within us – the Voice of God that’s always available because It’s what we are. Its Holiness always remebers and reminds ourselves and others that we are all sacred blessings, miracles, and gifts.

We have a choice in which voice we listen to. And the voice we’ve chosen to listen to is evident in what we share – what we teach. And what we teach is what we are choosing to learn.

Take the sacred, seventeen inch walk from your head back to your heart to teach and learn with God in the great, holy love that you are, always have been, and will always be.

~ Walk in Beauty,

Anthony Goulet 

A Survivor’s Scream

Do you really understand?
You say you do,
but I can see in your eyes
that you cannot read
between the lines,
so if you really understood,
I wouldn’t have to spell it out

Besides, when I stood
before you as a youth
telling you my truth,
you rejected me

Where I’ve been,
what I’ve experienced –
the sights, sounds, smells,
pain, brokenness –
the colors of the institutions
isn’t something you understand

You think words like
fuck and shit are offensive
So when I enter a room
and instantly connect
with those you can’t
I see the condemnation in your eyes
the same looks
those like you
gave me when I was a youth –
daggers of self-righteous condemnation
emitting moral vomit,
puking your credentials, expertise,
and religious verses on us survivors
that we’ve heard so many times before,
but you’re not even strong enough
to listen to the truth we’ve lived
because that would interrupt
the delicate images in your mind
of how we’re supposed to be,
and cause you to miss our beauty –
the truth of our perfection
forged in fires of hell

We talk because we need to
not because we think you understand,
not because we think you’re listening
because you’re too busy
trying to protect yourself
from the realities
of a survivor’s scream –
a scream you cannot recognize
when you hear it,
and so you’re also blind
to
those
Sacred
moments
when
healing
is
happening

Looking Back Upon Forevers

Looking back
upon forever
He really thought
It would be forever
every time

Looking forward
upon forever
He still thinks
It will be forever
every time

Being here, right now
He’s enjoying
the part of forever
he’s in
In this time
this moment
this breath 

We’re all time travelers
caught in the forevers
when it hurt the most
and felt the best
Carrying our forevers
Together 

Too Simple to be Heaven

Too Simple to be Heaven
As the sea reminds us of eternity
The grains of sand are equally certain
Certain in eternity, infinite, unknown
So fear set in and a roadblock
to remembrance was created

Created from the reminders of eternity
Created from what keeps us humble
Created to create a known
Created to not feel humility –
a gratitude with The Creator

The original dream of paradise
wasn’t good enough
No place to take pride,
hang a name, or have the credit
The enjoyment of bounty,
balance, and freedom
wasn’t enough

They devised a way to make
a need for more out of something endless
They took the reminders
of sharing, enough, and simplicity
They took them from the earth
mixed them together and began to build
They built, and built, and built,
and are still building
It’s never enough, enough is contentment –
that’s what they’re running from

Running from the memory of our Oneness
Developing more hurt
with more development
Attempting to override destruction
with more construction

Though some still long
for the place of the original dream,
thought, time, and space
Those who remember
never drank the mix
Longing for what they knew
it was
before it was this
Seeing what can be
for the future
of our children
They see all the children
can have enough

Those who remember
are called naive, unrealistic
They’re told
“Shut up, it’s not the way of the world!”
Heaven whispers,
“It used to be and can be again.”
Heaven’s whisper
is drowned out with sounds of progress 

Coursing through
the veins of destruction
a flow of mixture
that’s always given
enough money to eat
It’s always eating
and given the priority –
it’s why money was made
It has become a false god
by those denouncing false gods

Before they used it
to cover the earth
Before they used it
to incarcerate our children
They drank it
deep within their hearts
Devouring cement
to devour a memory
that’s too simple to be Heaven

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Don’t Fight the Wind

My dad would say, “Don’t fight the wind, son,” whenever he saw war brewing in my eyes

Wars fought long ago
that woke me up
crying, punching, kicking,
screaming,
reaching for a horizon
Walking in a daze
to somewhere
that was nowhere
A place I couldn’t reach
because I was trying,
desperately trying to find
the twelve year old me
to let him know
we’re going to make it
beyond that moment
and something miraculous
will manifest from it all

Time won’t tell us
anything more
than we tell time
to disclose
Yet, when that moment
arrives, it arises and raises
a sun that beams
upon all survivors
melting the tears
to rainbows that arch
from our heads
back to our hearts
Under which we find
the solace of the miracle
that the wounded child
within us has longed for

It is there, here, now
in a holy instant
we no longer
fight the wind,
but allow it to carry
the unnecessary away
and breathe us
back to life
with
Its
songs
of
healing